I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
