Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
