woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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