Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
