I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
