Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
