when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
