I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
