Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
