Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
