Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The adults are the big ones right?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
