She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
