Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I accidentally burped into my bong.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
