This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
