I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
