I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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