Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
