Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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