Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
