I think I can smell my own vagina right now
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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