Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Michael Bay diarrhea
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
