So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
