Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
