I just threw up on my dentist
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
