Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
In America we eat man semen.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
