He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
