I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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