How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
