you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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