He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
