apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
