my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
