we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
