my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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