hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
