you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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