You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Acid is not a monday night drug
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
