booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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