she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
