he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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