come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
