PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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