So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
