I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
