My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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