What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
