If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
ok first of all what the fuck
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
