i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
