So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
