I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
