hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
