we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
